There's nothing quite like that cathartic moment when we're driving alone in our car, we hit the steering wheel as hard as we can, shout some form of vulgarity so loud our voice cracks, and the disconcerted feeling that someone may have seen this little meltdown that immediately follows.
Or is this just me?
I had one of these impulsive moments recently due to some minutia thing that kicked my anxiety into high gear. I call these moments, 'episodes'. I've been fighting pretty hard lately to try and deal with these episodes in a healthy way. After all, I really do want to be more resilient when dealt an unpleasant card in life. So as the throbbing in my hand began to subside, I slowed my breathing, and 'talked myself off a cliff' as they say, an incredible thing happened - I was in a car accident.
God, why?
I guess He was testing me. If I wanted to practice learning how to cope with crummy circumstances, I couldn't think of a better opportunity. Despite being rear-ended and not at fault in the accident, I still did not deal with what happened in the most healthy way as hoped, but I'm not beating myself up about how I handled it either. I have chosen to cut myself a break because life is hard enough without making things worse by being hard on myself. After I got home I just paused and tried thinking of things I was grateful for (like no one getting hurt in the accident for instance). The important thing is that I improved. I made an effort. It's a step in the right direction, I think.
I've recently discovered another coping strategy that I want to share, but it's not just a coping strategy - it's something that everyone should experience and experience often. I'm talking about finding joy through other people's joy.
So how do you do that? Begin with love. Love isn't selfish. When we love others, we want them to be happy. When people are happy, we're getting what we want (because we want those we love to be happy). When we get what we want, we are happy.
Loving others + others' happiness = getting what we want = our happiness
When riding the bus home one day recently, I witnessed a couple with their baby come on board and sit down near a young girl. The girl was holding onto a toy, still in its original box. She used this box to cover her face and then quickly reveal herself to the baby, saying, "Hola!" The baby smiled really big and laughed, so the young girl continued to do this over and over again. As long as she could continue to make the baby smile and laugh, she continued this game of peek-a-boo. If the baby got distracted, she would try something else to make him smile. It became her mission to make this baby happy. You could see it on her face that whenever she succeeded, she too, lit up with joy.
Would if we paid more attention to the times when other people are happy and allowed ourselves to love them enough to care? Perhaps it would make us forget about our troubles for a while. When along for the ride and you find your fervor for life running low, look outside yourself and fuel up on the joy of others.
